Archive for May 2011
Screw You Kid “Hipster”
Find this kid and slap him
You think you’re so damn cool because you listen to Raffi ironically and drink RC Cola. Well guess what jerk face, YOU’RE NOT! It’s not cool, it’s annoying, and everyone hates you. Everyone hates your stupid Charlie Brown Mime shirt, your knock off Ray-Bans, and your “I don’t drink milk because that’s too mainstream” attitude. SCREW YOU KID!
Screw You Kid “Trophy”
Rapist
*Slow clap* Well congratulations, you won a glorified paper weight at some stupid local event. I can only assume it’s a Steven Tyler look alike contest. It doesn’t change the fact that you advertise that you can’t be trusted around women. Nothing described above should be considered positive, but yet you still have that stupid gap toothed smile on your face. SCREW YOU KID!
Screw You Kid “Stew”
STOP IT!
How do you expect us to finish our delicious baby stew if you keep eating the ingredients? SCREW YOU KID!
Sophomore Album
*Artist rendering
Chicago is probably the best place to study the art of improv. Theatres like Second City, Annoyance, and iO (formerly Improv Olympic) offer classes year round. I’ve been taking improv classes at iO for about a year now and I’ve loved every minute of it. While taking classes I started practicing with a group of hilarious individuals in my free time. We decided to form a group and get a coach (John Douglass) so we could start performing at various locations around the city. I thought it would be a good idea to post our show times on this blog just in case you like my online stupidity and want to see more of it. Show times will be posted soon.
Screw You Kid “Sailor?”
I hate you so much
Who the hell dresses like this? You can’t be a sailor and a lumberjack, PICK ONE! Oh, and thank god that hideous hat is strapped to your stupid face. You wouldn’t want a gust of wind to blow that unrolled condom off your head. What the hell is up with that bow? It’s obviously reused from someone who gifted a car.
I can’t even tell if you’re a real person or just some creepy doll that came alive after it was placed in that magic cupboard from The Indian in the Cupboard. I used to love those books, but now all I can think about is the Brawny man joining the Navy. SCREW YOU KID!
Screw You Kid “Blocks”
OH WOW, look at you! I bet you think you’re some sort of awesome architect just because you stacked some blocks. Well I got news for you kid, THAT’S THE WORST BLOCK TOWER EVER! Drunk monkeys playing Jenga make better towers. Seriously, just look at the foundation that you started with. The blocks on the bottom don’t even match up. Good luck getting that thing past 10 blocks in height. Next time you’re at the toy store ask your parents to buy you some Legos and glue because that’s the only way something you build will ever stay together. Also, where are you building this thing, a cave? SCREW YOU CAVE KID!
